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Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards
Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards
Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards

Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards

$34.99
$34.99

Waterproof novelty playing cards with amusing penis patterns. Durable, spill-resistant design for adult game nights and parties.

Key Features:

Waterproof construction survives spills and party chaos perfectly

Realistic penis patterns guarantee constant laughter and entertainment

Functions like standard cards for any traditional game

Durable enough to handle wild nights without damage

Perfect conversation starter for adult gatherings and parties

Vendor: Little Genie
SKU: NEW-10376
Availability: In stock
Product type: Sex Games, Coupons and Tricks
Please hurry! Only 2 left in stock
Product Description  

Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards are waterproof playing cards printed with realistic and humorous penis patterns, made to survive spills and moisture during parties and game nights. They work like standard cards but with adult humour that breaks tension and sparks conversation among friends.

At a glance
  • Material: Waterproof card stock, resistant to spills, sweat, and moisture without degrading or warping.
  • Design: Standard playing card deck featuring realistic yet amusing penis graphics throughout all suits and face cards.
  • Functionality: Works for any traditional card game—poker, blackjack, bridge—while delivering adult novelty humour simultaneously.
  • Durability: Built to withstand pool parties, beach settings, bars, and wet environments where regular cards would fail.
  • Use: Ideal for adult gatherings, bachelor parties, game nights with friends, and situations where entertainment and laughter matter.
🚚 Fast, tracked Australian shipping🔒 Plain, discreet packaging & billing✅ Genuine brands, backed by warranty💬 Product & sizing help whenever you need it

What you're getting

Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards are a standard deck reimagined with explicit adult humour and engineered to survive any party environment. Unlike basic novelty cards that disintegrate after a single spilled drink, these use waterproof card stock that shrugs off moisture, sweat and alcohol without warping or becoming unusable. The realistic penis imagery works across all suits and face cards, ensuring the humour never stops.

What sets this deck apart from other novelty items is the combination of genuine waterproofing and genuinely funny design that keeps working no matter how chaotic the night becomes. While standard cock rings focus on physical sensation, these cards focus entirely on breaking tension and generating laughter—a different kind of adult entertainment that suits group settings rather than solo use.

The highlights

  • Waterproof durability: Completely resistant to spills, beer, mixed drinks, pool water, and sweat without damage or discolouration.
  • Realistic penis graphics: Every card features explicit yet amusing illustrations that guarantee immediate reaction from anyone who sees the deck.
  • Full standard functionality: Plays like a regular deck for poker, blackjack, rummy, bridge or any card game you already know.
  • Party-proof construction: Built tough enough to survive wild game nights, rowdy friends, and the messiest gatherings without showing wear.
  • Conversation starter: The sheer novelty transforms ordinary game nights into memorable events that guests talk about for weeks.

Measurements and materials

  • Material: Waterproof card stock with sealed edges and moisture-resistant coating throughout the entire deck.
  • Deck size: Standard playing card dimensions, approximately 89 mm × 64 mm per card, fitting normal card tables and hands.
  • Card count: Full 52-card deck plus two jokers, identical to traditional poker decks in structure and composition.
  • Pattern: Realistic penis designs on every card, including suits, numbers, and face cards with consistent artwork quality.
  • Box contents: One complete waterproof deck packaged in discreet box suitable for gift-giving or storage.

Finding your size in a waterproof cock ring

These cards work for any adult regardless of experience or preference—there is no sizing or fitting required. Simply open the box and begin dealing for any card game you enjoy. The waterproof coating means you can play poolside, at beach bars, outdoor parties, or anywhere drinks flow freely without worrying about moisture damage or ruined cards.

First-time users often underestimate how durable these actually are until liquid hits the deck and bounces off harmlessly. Unlike Leather Cock Rings which require careful drying and maintenance, these cards need only basic wiping with a dry cloth to restore appearance. No special care routine exists—they simply work in wet conditions where standard cards would fail.

Who it suits

These cards suit anyone planning adult gatherings where laughter and novelty entertainment matter more than serious gameplay.

Great if you…
  • Host regular game nights and want a reliable conversation starter that actually works every single time.
  • Plan bachelor parties, bucks nights, or adult celebrations where shock benefit and humour set the tone.
  • Play cards at pool parties, beach gatherings, or anywhere moisture and spills are inevitable during the night.
  • Appreciate bold adult humour without pretence or subtle innuendo—these cards are unapologetically explicit.
Maybe not if you…
  • Prefer serious, competitive card play where novelty designs would distract from game strategy or concentration.
  • Play with conservative friends or family members uncomfortable with explicit sexual imagery regardless of context.
  • Want stretchy cock rings or physical products—these are cards only, for entertainment purposes exclusively.
Handle with dry hands when dealing to maintain card grip and prevent accidental drops or slips during active play. Safety first. A constriction ring is not suitable if you have circulation problems, diabetes, a bleeding disorder or reduced sensation; never wear one for longer than the manufacturer states, and remove it immediately if it will not come off easily. This information is general in nature only and is not medical or professional advice; it does not account for your individual circumstances. Stop use and seek medical advice if you experience pain, numbness, swelling, discolouration, bleeding or persistent irritation.

Care and storage

Wipe cards with a dry, soft cloth immediately after moisture exposure to prevent any temporary residue or film buildup. Store the deck in its original box in a cool, dry location away from extreme heat or direct sunlight that could affect colours over time. The waterproof coating requires no special maintenance—normal shelf storage keeps the deck in perfect condition indefinitely, even between parties.

Want to know more?

Understanding how adult novelty items improve social gatherings gives you confidence choosing products that genuinely deliver entertainment benefit. Read our detailed guide to Cock Rings for insights into adult products that spark conversation and create memorable moments among friends and partners.

What to expect

by Andrew

First-time users typically underestimate the comedic impact until the cards hit the table and reactions start flowing. Grown adults who play seriously suddenly lose composure laughing at the imagery while trying to maintain poker faces. This deck transforms competitive game dynamics immediately—expect the mood to shift from tense competition to relaxed entertainment within the first round of dealing.

The waterproof coating proves itself during real-world use when drinks inevitably spill on the table. Cards that would normally absorb liquid and warp completely shrug off moisture and dry within seconds. This durability advantage becomes most obvious at pool parties or beach gatherings where water exposure is constant rather than accidental.

Cleaning requires only basic wiping with a dry cloth—no special products, drying racks, or restoration routines exist. The cards maintain appearance and function through dozens of game nights without showing wear, fading, or deterioration from moisture exposure or casual handling.

Most people who purchase this deck end up ordering additional copies as gifts after witnessing the genuine entertainment benefit firsthand. The combination of actual waterproofing plus genuinely funny artwork creates a novelty item that works rather than merely gimmick items that disappoint after one use.

How it compares

Card Type Material Best For Moisture Resistance Novelty Appeal
Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Waterproof card stock Wet parties, beach games, adult events Complete waterproof coating Explicit penis designs throughout deck
Standard novelty cards Regular card stock Indoor adult gatherings only None—absorb moisture immediately Mild adult humour, basic graphics
Plastic coated cards Plastic laminate overlay Professional magic or casual games Minor splash resistance only No adult imagery or humour
Strip poker cards Regular card stock Couples play or intimate groups None—standard durability Game-based entertainment with instructions
well-made plastic deck 100% plastic construction Professional use, frequent handling Fully waterproof No novelty—standard card designs

The final word

Find your next party essential with Dirty Penis Playing Cards Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards, a deck that actually survives the chaos while delivering genuine entertainment benefit. Order it from Malechastity.com.au with discreet Australia-wide delivery. These cards handle spills, laughter, and wild game nights better than standard decks ever could—guaranteed to become your go-to conversation starter at every gathering. Body-Safe Materials, Honestly Described.

Shipping Information & Policy  

Malechastity.com.au ships with Australia Post. We ship from Sydney.

All in-stock orders placed before 12pm AEST (Sydney Time) on business days are generally processed on the same day. Packages are usually received 1-6 business days after shipping, but may subject to any postage carrier related delays beyond our control.

Free standard shipping on orders shipped within Australia above $200. For orders below $200 standard shipping within Australia is $12.95 and will be added at checkout.

Orders addressed to P.O box, G.P.O box or Parcel Collect will be handled by Australia Post. Extra time should be allocated for these orders.

Shipping Transit Times (Including Free Shipping)

Shipping time refers to the estimated time that it will take to deliver your order after it’s ready to ship (Please note this does not include time to process your order). Shipping time does not commence after your order is put through but begins the moment your order has been processed and is ready to dispatch via the our freight carrier..

1. Major City & Metro Areas (within Australia)

All in stock orders are generally processed on the same day the order was placed on business days for orders received before 12pm. Generally, orders are processed and shipped the same day or next business day.

Orders are typically received 1-6 business days after shipping. For larger packages please allow an extra 1-2 business days for delivery.

If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from the nearest depot location.

2. Rural Areas (within Australia)

All orders are generally processed on the same day the order was placed on business days before 12pm.

Generally, orders are processed and shipped the same day or next Business day.

Packages below 2kg are usually received 3-6 business days after shipping. For larger packages please allow an extra 1-2 business days for delivery.

If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from the local Australia Post depot.

International Shipping

The price for international shipping is AU$12.95 for orders equal to or below 0.399kg (399grams), and AU$22.95 for orders with a total weight equal to or above 0.4kg (400 grams).

All in-stock orders placed before 12pm AEST (Sydney Time) on business days are generally processed on the same day. Packages are usually received 6-30 business days after shipping. 

If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from your nearest delivery depot.

Please note in regards to all orders

– These expected delivery dates/times are based on carrier shipping practices, your destination, and the items in your order.
– Expected delivery dates are estimates. Orders can be delayed due to fraud verification or the time of the order being placed. Items that are not regularly stocked cannot be held to the expected delivery dates.
– Orders may be delivered in separate shipments.
– The order cut off times are based on normal Business Hours and exclude weekends and Holidays: Monday – Friday 12 pm
– When your order ships you will receive an email from us with a link to track your order.  If you receive your tracking number before 6 pm (AEST) it may not be updated on the Carrier’s website until that evening.

Due to large amounts of online credit card fraud, all orders are subject to approval by our payment verification department. We will notify you by phone or email should your order be delayed.

Refund & Returns Policy  

We have a 14 day return policy, which means you have 14 days after receiving your item to request a refund for any defective products.

Returns and exchanges are only available for faulty items, goods not as described, or in some instances, for incorrect sizing.

Due to health and safety regulations, Maleshastity.com.au cannot resell any returned or exchanged products.

This policy is in place to prioritise your well-being and ensure that you receive the highest standard of hygiene and quality in all products.

To be eligible for a refund, your item must be in the same condition that you received it, unworn or unused, with tags, and in its original packaging.

You’ll also need the receipt or proof of purchase. We do not issue refunds for change of mind or incorrect choice.

Under Australian Consumer Law, we are not obliged to accept returns for “incorrect choice” or “change of mind” so please choose your products carefully. 

Any freight and insurance costs to return the item to us are at your expense. This includes the liability for any lost freight – send via registered post.
If your return request is accepted, we will provide you with all instructions on how and where to send your package. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted.

Damages and issues

Please inspect your order upon reception and contact us immediately if the item is defective, damaged or if you receive the wrong item, so that we can evaluate the issue and make it right.

Exceptions / non-returnable items

We do not accept returns for any products that have change of mind, damaged products, or for products that have been used or do not have their original packaging.

Please get in touch if you have questions or concerns about your specific item.

Unfortunately, we cannot accept returns on sale items or gift cards.

Refunds

We will notify you once we’ve received and inspected your return, and let you know if the refund was approved or not. If approved, you’ll be automatically refunded on your original payment method within 7 business days.

Please remember it can take some time for your bank or credit card company to process and post the refund too.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the Little Genie Dirty Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards and what makes them different from regular cards?
Waterproof playing cards featuring realistic penis patterns, the Little Genie Dirty deck transforms ordinary game nights into laugh-filled adventures. Built from spill-resistant card stock, they survive drinks, moisture, and party chaos while delivering constant entertainment through genuinely amusing artwork that sparks giggles throughout the night.
Does the Little Genie Dirty Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards deck function like standard playing cards for traditional games?
Complete card game functionality means the Little Genie Dirty deck works perfectly for poker, blackjack, or any traditional card game. The realistic penis graphics add hilarious entertainment while maintaining proper suits and numbers, letting you play serious games with seriously funny visuals that keep everyone laughing.
Are the Little Genie Dirty Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards genuinely waterproof during messy party situations?
Truly waterproof construction handles spilled drinks, poolside parties, and rowdy gatherings without damage or wear. The Little Genie Dirty cards resist moisture completely, staying crisp and playable even when soaked, making them perfect for beach parties, bachelor nights, or anywhere alcohol flows freely without worry.
Which men are best suited for the Little Genie Dirty Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards at their gatherings?
Party hosts wanting legendary gatherings, bachelor party planners seeking outrageous entertainment, and guys who love breaking tension with bold humor find these cards perfect. Anyone organizing adult game nights where boundaries get pushed and inhibitions disappear will create unforgettable memories with these conversation-starting cards.
Can you buy the Little Genie Dirty Waterproof Novelty Playing Cards with discreet delivery across Australia?
Available now through MaleChastity.com.au with discreet Australia-wide shipping, the Little Genie Dirty cards arrive ready to transform your next gathering. Orders ship confidentially in plain packaging, ensuring your hilarious surprise stays secret until you deal the first hand and watch reactions unfold.

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