When it comes to chastity, most people assume that it is a female chastity device with which we are talking about. In part, this stems down from a patriarchal belief with the loyalty that women are supposed to hold when it comes to their relationships, thereby freeing men so that they could sow their seed. In reality though, many more men partake in chastity than women, and it’s an interesting fetish which has become increasingly popular in the world of relationships, sex and sexual gratification.
Put simply, a chastity device is a form of control of the wearers sexual behavior, a device which physically inhibits the wearer from any form of stimulation, intercourse or masturbation. Cages come in a variety of different shapes, styles, materials, and even colors, yet they all have a singular purpose; orgasm denial. You might think about why one would want to deny an orgasm, but it is a multi-faceted fantasy that is very difficult to pin down. Being in a chastity device is different for different people, there are a variety of reasons out there as to why one would want to have their orgasms and sexual gratification being denied – but at its core, it relies on a power exchange and, physically and mentally, handing control of one’s own sexual release to that of someone else.
It’s a unique fetish in the sense that the sexual gratification stems from the denial of sexual gratification. How does this even make sense? If you’ve studied other fetishes, or even if you’re familiar with other fetishes, what you’ll find is that sexual gratification does not always have to be about the stimulation of the body, or indeed orgasms. Sexual gratification, or erotic pleasure may be derived from the stimulation of another person, or by being punished, humiliated or something of the like. Usually in these situations the erotic turn-on stems from a mental and psychological perspective, however it can be closely linked with physical factors as well, which include pain and torture.
The point of orgasm control/denial is that it is responsible for an exceptionally long period of foreplay of which the exchange of power is central. The dominant partner, sometimes referred to as the key holder, may simply hold out sexual release until they want it, or they may get the submissive male to partake in a variety of activities and services with which to build favor and potentially secure sexual release. It could also incorporate edging whereby the dominant partner may, at their choosing, bring their submissive partner close to climax before locking them away to serve as some form of punishment. There are a variety of different relationships between a submissive and their keyholder. What is essential, however, is the exchange of power – and like all forms of BDSM relationships this manifests into both a physical and mental pleasure. People who have been restrained speak often about the need to serve, the denial of sexual release means that they are often reduced to a state of serving, or neediness on their partner, and in turn their partner derives pleasure from this constant psychological state of submissiveness.
Male chastity is often thought to be a confusing world because it’s not something that’s often spoken about or even exposed, unless you’re specifically looking for it. This is partly due to the idea, that there is a huge psychological component to chastity that a lot of people simply do not understand. We live in a world of instant gratification, and with the rise of dating apps and apps which can provide access to instant sexual partners, the idea and understanding of sexual release is skewed. We no longer have to wait for
in order to have sexual gratification, and sometimes, for those willing, its far easier to load up an app and get someone over than it is to masturbate. The idea of sex and sexuality is not something which can be confined to physical release and orgasms, sex and sexuality has become much more than that. This is especially the case in a sex positive environment, which provides individuals the freedom to enjoy all forms of sex so long as it is explicitly consensual. Take someone who has had an accident or has had prostate surgery and no longer has functional use of his penis; he can still be sexually stimulated mentally and derive pleasure from that stimulation even with the absence of an orgasm. We all know that one man in our social group that is driven by his sexual needs, and whose focus is on sexual gratification and pleasure. Imagine the idea that he is placed in a position where he has been denied the ability to touch or pleasure himself, could he not then be in a position where he can refocus that energy into other pursuits.
When a guy is caged up he is fully aware that he is unable to bring himself to sexual climax leaving him free to redirect and refocus his sexual energy onto other aspects of this life which he is still in control of. The period of chastity can vary, with some men being restricted for a few days, weeks, months or even years without a guarantee of sexual release. Despite the common belief that a man in chastity can never have any sexual release, the body is still sometimes able to obtain sexual release either mentally, or as nocturnal emissions. To completely deny the release of semen or bodily fluids for any period of time can be damaging on their health – this in turn can force the body to adjust, and ultimately cope in different ways.
Why Men Want To Be Caged?
A male may want to be caged because he wants his key holder to take sexual initiative within the relationship. By caging the penis, he no longer has control of sexual initiation as it has been transferred to someone else. Surrendering control, or having someone else in control is one of the more common reasons for enforcing a life of chastity. Although the control physically extends to the control of the penis – there is more to it than this. Control will eventually and inevitably spread beyond this, and this might be the type of lifestyle which he is seeking. Whilst it is an underlying and motivating force, it is not always the primary reason.
Enforced chastity allows him to dedicate his loyalty to his key holder and addresses his concerns of trust from his partner to him. He might have already been feeling temptation, or it might be brought up as a result of guilt from a previous situation, or it could be a motivation for him to seek punishment from something real or something he has imagined. Some people seek to have forms of punishment given to them for various ‘indiscretions’ regardless of their validity – this is especially common in religious circles in the form of self- flagellation. If it stems from a place of guilt, then the couple need to have a serious talk regarding the origins of this guilt before engaging in chastity play as it has the potential to become more legitimately cruel than what it should be.
In each of these situations there is a psychological need in being caged, and the fulfillment of that need is part of the sexual fantasy. Fulfillment in this fantasy is not just about physical denial of sexual gratification. It becomes a mindful state which can alter the behaviour of the caged individual both in regards to his relationship or overall life. We have just briefly discussed how this might be able to affect his life in terms of allowing him to refocus his energy on other aspects of life. But there are also many benefits to the relationship as well, by removing the control of sexual gratification he in turn can refocus his sexual desires and pleasures on his ability to serve his key-holder. This might manifest itself into a more intimate and positive relationship.
When it comes to sex and sexual pleasure, societal expectations often dictate that sex is purely about penetrative sex. When that component is taken out of the equation it can result in a more emotionally fulfilling relationship which sees a focus on the needs and desires of the key-holder as opposed to the needs and desires of the caged individual. Indeed, there are many stories out there how caging up their partner has resulted in their partner being more ‘devoted’ to them; actively seeking to fulfill their needs, desires and every whim. In some cases, this does have an ulterior motive, that being the promise of sexual release and tension, however this is not always the case. The individual may simply be feeling the need to redirect their sexual desire and energy into providing their partner with more emotional fulfillment. Often, key-holders will report such things as their partner being more understanding, more attentive and even more devoted to them and the family.
As you can see, there are a number of different factors within the fetish of male chastity and cock cages. Hopefully by this stage you’ll also have gathered that it isn’t some variant of severe trust issues, or forced abstinence, though in some cases this remains accurate.