Your first BDSM party? Tips

party bdsm

BDSM is an increasingly popular type of sexual practice. It involves very diverse activities with different intensities. They include mainly those related to bondage, discipline, domination, sadism, masochism and submission. A type of sexual relation from which pleasure is obtained in a less conventional way. Much has been written and shown about this type of practice. They especially attracted a lot of attention with the premiere of Grey’s 50 Shadows saga. Although these books and films only show part of it. There are real professional escorts in Melbourne who call themselves dominas, mistresses or dominatrix, capable of making you enjoy an authentic BDSM experience. Generally, in a special room prepared with the necessary accessories also called dungeon, or in some room with enough space. 

 

There are so many people who enjoy this kind of activities that besides being a category in the main porn sites, there are more and more BDSM parties being held. These are perfect encounters for those with the same tastes to meet and enjoy each other’s company. But, how are these BDSM parties? If it is the first time you go to one of them, it is important to take into account several things.

 

The first piece of advice before going is to get informed

About possible practices such as ropes, immobilization, clamps, spanking, chains, whips and a long etcetera. Enough to be clear about what you want to experience, to be familiar with the related vocabulary and to know the toys and accessories that are usually used. This is because there are different BDSM parties, some more specific than others. So you can go to the one that better suits your tastes. 

 

It is important to attend with an open mind

Avoid prejudice and go in with a calm and respectful attitude. The main objective is to let yourself go and enjoy yourself. Besides, going to this type of party does not have to imply having sexual relations at all. As in an erotic encounter with an escort from Birmingham it is something consensual, safe and where you can experiment and talk calmly about sexual fantasies. BDSM parties don’t have to be a synonymous to orgies. 

 

At these events people come to chat, meet new people with the same tastes, have a drink and enjoy themselves. That is why many of these parties have a series of rules to ensure the enjoyment of all the guests. So you have to know and respect them during the whole stay. That is why it is good to contact the organizers beforehand and show interest in attending. In this way you can ask all the questions that arise to solve the doubts and go more safely. This is very important, especially if it is the first time attending.

 

The most appropriate clothing for this type of party

Generally there is a dress code and a way of dressing that is characteristic of people within the BDSM community. Especially with garments made of vinyl, latex or leather that many people enjoy. Although, inside the location where it takes place there is usually a locker or bathroom where you can change. So you can enter with normal street clothes going unnoticed and once inside, make the change. 

 

Is it better to go alone or in company?

Especially the first time you go to a BDSM party can be a bit embarrassing and nerve-wracking. If you decide to go with your partner, a special friend or escort from Toronto, it is advisable to talk about it beforehand. Mainly about what each person is looking for when going to a party like this. If you go alone, it’s okay, you can meet people right away with whom you can have an interesting conversation.

 

The important thing is to go to the first BDSM party with an open mind and respectful attitude. Once inside you just have to let yourself go and start interacting with the others who have come to the event. It is normal at first to feel nervous and even insecure. So it is advisable to take it as an opportunity to talk, ask questions and discover new pleasures. Get to know yourself better and the limits of pleasure. Mainly learn with this type of practices and the social opinions that are held about them. Because they are vastly misunderstood. This is mainly because the idea of obtaining satisfaction from pain or immobilization is not conceived. That is why more information is needed. BDSM is much more than knots, whips and domination. That’s what these parties are for, to discover this whole community and enjoy it. So why wait any longer to attend a BDSM party by following these tips?

An Introduction Into Male Chastity

Historical Chstity

Let’s go through some of the themes surrounding the idea of sexual chastity devices and we will do this through an exploration of male chastity devices. Chastity has become an increasingly popular sexual practice, whereby the sexual power of one individual is placed into another. Chastity results in one member of the relationship holding the power to sexual release and climax, and there are many psychological aspects which are placed onto this sexual practice which we will explore. From there we will look at some of the types of devices, how to pick a device that best suits your needs, and the care and maintenance of both the device and the wearer.

Extended chastity device use poses its own risks and merits and these need to be carefully explored, and you will find medical articles here that not only explain the science of male chastity, but also the potential dangers as well. One of the most common questions when it comes to chastity devices, is what interests people in partaking in chastity practices? Put simply it concerns an exchange of power. Where some BDSM practices result in physical restraints, or psychological restraining through a dominant and submissive relationship – chastity exists through the combination of these, as well as uniquely seeing the restraining of sexual experiences.

Female Chastity
Chastity Device

Chastity sex toys are thought to have existed for a lot longer than people realize. Like most BDSM practices it was often thought to have originated from Medical and Victorian practices, indeed the idea of chastity was said to have risen to prominence within the 18th Century, though it had been said to have existed for a time before that. Chastity devices are often viewed by the general population as a sexually restrictive device worn by women – this idea stems from social roles of men and women, during an age when women were suffering from oppression. This thought can be witnessed through the Middle Age contextual thought of a lord or knight leaving his woman securely ‘bolted up’ while he went off to have to war, or campaign missions to serve the Aristocracy.

It’s difficult not to think that this might have solved half the problems in Westeros and Game of Thrones, but then we’d be missing some of the more important story lines. Whilst we can’t deny that such gadgets did exist and were probably used, most illustrations and ‘authentic’ period pieces which are to be found in exhibition halls are currently viewed by specialists as fakes – generally made in the nineteenth century to titillate guests. That’s right, current research into chastity devices has thrown concerns and doubts as to when and where the chastity devices actually grew in popularity.

 

The Secret History Of Chastity:-

The history of chastity is often said to be so secret that no-one actually knew that it existed! The chastity belt has long been associated with women in the Middle Ages to prevent sexual intercourse as a form of enforcing loyalty and preventing infidelity when knights and warriors went off to fight on behalf of the Aristocracy. However, researchers have discovered that there is no evidence of chastity device in verified Medieval texts, a fact which has caused much curiosity and puzzlement among historians and researchers. Therefore, the question becomes, if they didn’t exist in medieval times, where has the chastity belt come from?

 

 

Albrecht Classen is a self-proclaimed expert of Chastity devices and has published a book titled ‘The Medieval Chastity Belt: a Myth-making Process'(Palgrave Macmillan, 2007). He has determined in this book that the first mention of the chastity device occurred on a treatise concerning siege machines written by an alleged German Engineer and artist, Konrad Kyese. This document, entitled Bellifortis, is thought to have been written around 1405 and contained detailed images about siege weapons, Alexander the Great, and a variety of mythical and fantastical instruments for torture and war. The thing that concerns Classen however, is that whilst there is an image for a chastity device in this work, there are also a number of crude jokes concerning flatulence, and ‘magical’ devices thought to make people disappear. In other words, not everything in this work is to be taken seriously.

 

Edwardian Chastity
Early Chastity

 

The concept for the chastity belt was added as an afterword in his document, and Classen argues that this had originally been intended as an imaginative joke. The joke however seems to have stuck and continued on as an entertaining and popular subject of humour and satire. Classen goes on to support this by writing in his book that,

 

“No Author Of Sermon Literature, Of Penitentiary Texts, Or Didactic And Legal Writers Has Ever Mentioned The Chastity Belt Probably Because Already The Basic Idea Behind It Defies The Basic Needs Of The Human (Female) Body.”

 

 

In essence, we see Classen arguing that there is a distinct lack of any form of reliable historical reference or evidence that the chastity device was worn as an undergarment, and further, if on the off chance that it was, that there is exceptionally little logic to support their existence. In a world where illness and disease ran rife, the idea that rough, hard and metallic objects could be worn like this without causing illness or infection defies belief. This is an argument that is also supported by historical experts at the Semmelweis Museum, a museum which ran an exhibition of the History of Chastity devices in 2010.

A 16th Century historian and a curator for the Tutbury Castle in Staffordshire England also agrees with Classen. In the British Medical Journal, Lesley Smith wrote an article in 2007 which stated that she has extensively traveled the word and examined a variety of art collections, and historical pieces, and she has yet to have seen a chastity belt that can conclusively be proven to have originated from the Medieval period. Smith also is of the belief that the ‘joke’ stuck, because the concept is understandable given the context of social beliefs concerning sex and sexuality at the time. Medieval Europe was a period in which any form of sexual activity that was not related to conception was a sin and ultimately forbidden. A chastity device fits into this contextual belief which has resulted in historians, researchers and studies concerning the chastity device, to fail to notice the allegorical and satirical humour behind the device, instead resulting in the proclamation that the chastity device was real.

 

 

Sarah Bond, an assistant Professor at the University of Iowa, has suggested something slightly different. Whilst she acknowledges that the metallic devices were probably rarely used, or considered jokes by the Victorians, she does suggest that there are social practices which precede the chastity belts as a way of explaining them. Bond explains that Chastity Belts actually originated in Ancient Rome. Brides in Ancient Rome would wear a corded belt to symbolize one’s chastity, and would later be taken off by her husband. As such, the idea that a belt would signify modesty and chastity, was a social practice that continued throughout the Middle Ages, and ultimately might be the reason for the joke.

The once fabric corded belt could have evolved into a belt ornately designed with metal to symbolize chastity and to separate the idea between the working class (fabric belt) and the upper class (metal belt). This belt was worn around the hips, as opposed to around the female genitals. Most of the historians concerning female chastity devices continually refer back to same point; that the idea of a chastity device had intended to be a joke, and a failure to acknowledge this is seen as being consistent with a practice with in which modern historians and researchers partook in to conjure a more ‘barbaric’ version of Medieval society than what had actually existed in truth.

Regardless of whether you subscribe to the idea that chastity devices are a great joke, or whether you believe that they originated from Ancient Roman customs, or even if you believe that they have existed and that historians have attempted to cover up a great sex joke – one cannot deny that they have ultimately morphed into a popular sexual fetish. Though it really wasn’t until the introduction of the world-wide web until these devices became more popular to zest up a sexual relationship.

Even now they can be used in averting masturbation, as well as denying sexual activity to anyone other than the holder of the key to the chastity device – the key holder being the primary person (usually a dominant) who had the key to the chastity toy and could unlock the partner for sexual activity at any point that they chose. Male chastity devices all have two things in common; the first being that they are designed to prevent an erection. They do this by either having a short cage which barely fits a flaccid penis, or (especially useful for those with large flaccid cocks) an angled piece whereby the angle is so sharp that an erection is impossible. Second, they are designed to be locked up by the key holder or their partner in order to prevent tampering.

Male Chastity Devices are designed for people that don’t trust their partner, like a little more control in their relationship such as mistress and slave/master and slave relationships, long distance relationships or for people entering into the world of BDSM.

These days there are so many different styles and variations of styles it is sometimes difficult to be keeping up to date with the latest of chastity toys specifically for men in a wide variety of styles and that will suit your specific needs. If you need a cage that can be easily cleaned whilst still being worn, we can point you in the right direction, if you need a cage that’s a little bit more torturous than most, our friends at the cockringshop will have it. There are also specific cages that can be used with piercings – and they stock those as well. All your chastity toys will come with a unique lock and key and then all you have to do is ensure the safety of that key by putting it in a safe place (many people with chastity devices like to put the key around a necklace chain or an ankle chain so that it is within plain site of their partner but it still can’t be touched. What a tease!

Chastity devices may not be used to enforce fidelity as it was once thought to have done, though we do acknowledge that some people use them this way for that specific purpose, but they are used as a form of exchanging power. Indeed, in a great social back-flip, chastity devices have switched the focus onto being worn by males as opposed to females! So, take  a journey of chastity devices, and we promise you, unlike the ones that are in museums – these ones aren’t fake!